F Talk About It Tuesday: Forgiving Yourself ~ Critique of the Unique

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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Talk About It Tuesday: Forgiving Yourself

"No regrets"....I've heard people say they live their lives with no regrets, and when I hear that, I understand completely what they mean. It is a philosophy I have held for much of my life. I believed (and somewhat still do) in the old standby of "everything happens for a reason". I am the one who will preach this to you  whenever life is not going as planned. 

Yet, I cannot help but take time to reflect on that comment. I regret a lot of things in my life and even though my mistakes shaped me into the person I am today, let's be honest....some things are meant to be regretted. For example:
  • not talking to someone offering to be my friend. (I was too shy). 
  • not learning how to play a musical instrument
  • never learning how to swim
  • the letters I wrote to that boy in middle school (pretending to be someone else)
  • cracking my knuckles and back as a youngster
  • not waiting until I was married
  • not keeping a secret
  • keeping a secret
  • cutting, dyeing, and perming my hair  (over and again)
  • being stubborn
  • not sticking up for myself
  • not going to college straight out of high school
  • not trying hard enough
  • giving in
  • giving up
  • not giving in
  • not being in the right place, at the right time
  • not knowing when to leave
  • fighting with my sister
  • buying the McRib just because it was the LAST TIME it would be sold (for the millionth time)
  • throwing away my old diaries
  • knowing why I threw them away
  • telling on my sister for joy riding in our Aunt's car (she was only about 12, but it was really fun)
  • not being able to hold my mother's hand as she took her last breath
  • fearing the unknown....
Even now, when my life is about to change completely as I transition from being a stay-at-home mom for the last twelve years into a working mom and full time student...I know I am creating a few regrets.  

We all do; Sometimes there is nothing we can do about it. 

Yet, we can learn to give ourselves permission to forgive ourselves.  Maybe not immediately, or even a few years down the line....just as long as we do, sooner or later. 



I do believe things happen to lead us to where we are, but I think it's hard to honestly have no regrets.

I have so many regrets it isn't funny! I figure it's part of why I don't have a huge big 'ol head and am fairly humble. And I don't regret that one bit! NICE post!

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Great post! I have to remind myself that "everything happens for a reason" when bad things happen. I may not understand the reason at the time but at some point everything comes together and makes sense. I think we all have regrets and we grow from having them. The only time I think we suffer from regret is when we dwell on them.

I truly do regret a lot of bad decisions I made when I was younger, but I KNOW that had I done even one of those things differently, I wouldn't have the kids I have today, and so for that I am always thankful for the decisions I regret making. I love your take on it, though. Of course there's no way we can't not regret forgetting to say thank you to someone, accidentally hurting someone's feelings, hurting someone's feelings on purpose, eating that whole pizza, and so on. :) Like you said, there's nothing we can do about it but try and forgive ourselves.
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